The Best of Creative Computing Volume 1 (published 1976)
Genesis Release 2.5
lysts," and the other part was called - "Application Programmers." And the
Analysts went back to their desks and estimated, as was their custom. And it
came to pass that each Analyst brought his estimate to the Chief Programmer,
whereupon he collected them, summarized them, and drew a PERT Chart.
And the Chief Programmer went unto the Project Manager and presented to him the
estimate saying, "It shall take ten months." And the Project Manager was not
pleased and said, "I have brought you up from the depths of the staff; you have
not grasped the 'Big Picture.'" And the Project Manager hired consultants, and
authorized overtime, and he said to the Chief Programmer, "Behold, see all that
I have done! The Due Date will be in five months." The Chief Programmer was much
impressed and went from before the Project Manager and proceeded to implement
The System.
And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the Users and said, "Let
Specifications be written." And there were meetings, and lunches, and telephone
calls. And the Specifications were written. And there was a Payday and the Happy
Hour, one month.
And the Chief Programmer examined the Specifications and saw that they were too
ambitious. And he separated the mandatory features from the optional features;
and he called the mandatory features - "Requirements," and he called the
optional features - "Deferred," and the Users called him names. And the Chief
Programmer gave the Specifications to the Analysts and said, "Let the
Requirements be analyzed and let the Files be designed." And it was so. And the
Chief Programmer said, "Let the Software Houses put forth their Salesmen, and
let us have a Data Management System." And it was so. The Software Houses
brought forth all manner of Salesmen who presented their packages, and claimed
wondrous things for them, each according to his own file structure. And it came
to pass that a Data Management System was selected; and the Chief Programmer saw
that it was good. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a second month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the System be divided into parts, and let
each part be called a 'Module.' And let programming teams be formed and let each
be assigned to write a Module." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer created
the programming teams with two levels, a greater and a lesser; and he called the
greater the "Senior Programmers," and he called the lesser the "Junior
Programmers."
And he gave the greater dominion over the lesser. And the Chief Programmer saw
it was good. And the Junior Programmers saw it differently. And there was a
Payday and the Happy Hour, a third month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the programming be started and let much
overtime be consumed, for there is but two months left." And the Programmers,
both the Senior and the Junior, were much afraid, and they strove to please the
Chief Programmer. And they flowcharted, and they coded, each in his own fashion.
And the Chief Programmer looked upon the work and liked it not. And the Chief
Programmer said, "Let there be a Standard;" and there was a Standard. And the
Programmers looked upon the Standard and liked it not. And there [image] was a
Payday and the Happy Hour, a fourth month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be Progress Reports, so we can monitor
and control;" and there were Progress Reports. And the Chief Programmer looked
upon the Progress Reports and saw that the Due Date [image] was not to be met.
And the Chief Programmer arose, pressed his suit, shaved his beard, and went
unto the Project Manager, and groveled. And the Chief Programmer pointed his
fingers, and caused Blame to issue forth upon all manner of creatures who sold
Hardware and Software. And the Chief Programmer asked for an Extension.
And the Project Manager was exceedingly angry, and cast doubts upon the Chief
Programmer's ancestry; and uttered a multitude of threats. But it came to pass
that an Extension was granted; and the Chief Programmer took the Extension back
to the programming teams, and there was much rejoicing. And the programming of
the modules was completed. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fifth
month.
And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Modules be integrated, one with another,
so that System Testing may begin." And it was so. Two by two the Modules were
integrated, one with another. And great difficulties were experienced, and many
hours of overtime were used, and many cups of coffee were consumed. And it came
to pass that System Testing was completed. And there was a Payday and the Happy
Hour, a sixth month.
Then the Chief Programmer did go to the Project Manager and said unto him,
"Behold, I bring you good tidings of a great joy which will come to all the
Users; for on this day The System is completed." And suddenly there was with
them a multitude of Users praising the Chief Programmer and saying, "Glory be to
The System in the highest, but can you make this one small change"?
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