The Best of Creative Computing Volume 1 (published 1976)
Confess: A Humanistic Prescriptive Computer Program to Decrease Person to Person Interaction Time During Confession
Study II: Internal Latency Reliability. This study examined the latency from the
last sin confessed until the PP or CONFESS program provided the penance or GPA,
respectively. Again, the CONFESS latency was significantly shorter than the PP
latency. The means were 1.31 minutes (plus an average of 9.3 head shakes) for
PPs, and 6.1 seconds for CONFESS.
Study III: Computer Breakdowns vs. PP Rest Breaks. In this study the CONFESS
program was monitored for computer breakdowns and
don't-understand-not-compute-either (DUNCE) loops. During the 243 CONFESS
program runs (a total of 517 minutes), no breakdowns were reported and only one
(1) DUNCE loop was reported. The DUNCE loop was in the case of one PU who was
previously excommunicated from the church; however, the CONFESS program has been
modified and will now process excommunicated PUs as well as non-excommunicated
PUs. PPs, on the other hand, showed an average of 1 rest break for a mean of
12.3 minutes every hour and one-half.
Study IV: Consistency of PP penance vs. GPA. In this study, the 243 confession
tapes were re-heard by the same 14 PPs. Each PP re-heard the same confessee's
albeit on tape and without hearing the end of the tape which contained the
penance he gave. In 241 cases, the PPs did not give the same penance and, in
fact, in 191 cases the penance severity changed at least one degree (e.g., from
a severity rating of 7 to a severity rating of 8). Although no speculation for
causality is made here, it is important to compare the CONFESS consistency. In
all 243 cases, the GPA was identical.
The results of these four studies are sufficient to provide confidence in
CONFESS program reliability.
***
Procedures/Output
Being a natural language program, the procedures for CONFESS are extremely
simple. The following steps describe the PU procedures.
Step 1: Enter the CONFESS box, and kneel on cushioned kneeler in front of the
typewriter/console. Type in your personal PU identification code.
Step 2: The typewriter will type your name and the elapsed time since your last
CONFESS session (CONFESSION). Following the request for present sins, type in
all sins since your last CONFESSION.
Step 3: Press the "enter" button and silently repeat the short form of the ACT
of Contrition. (Given the average latency for GPA, 6.1 seconds, this is usually
reduced to "I'm sorry").
Step 4: Remove the CONFESS personalized GPA printout.
***
Sample Printout
[image]
CONFESS GPA PRINTOUT JOHN POPE Age 29
TIME SINCE LAST CONFESSION = 3 WEEKS
PRESENT SINS
TYPE
GPA
PUNISHMENT
PROBABILITY THEREOF
1. SECRETLY ENVIES BOSS
VENIAL
10 OUR FATHERS. PRACTICE SMILING AT BOSS
1 YEAR IN PURGATORY
.98
2. SWEAR AT WIFE
VENIAL
10 HAIL MARY'S. PRACTICE SMILING AT WIFE.
1.73 YEARS IN PURGATORY
.84
3. COVET NEIGHBOR'S WIFE
MORTAL
ONE ROSARY/DAY FOR ONE WEEK. PRACTICE SMILING AT WIFE.
ETERNAL DAMNATION.
.91
ONLY 3 SINS THIS TIME MR. POPE. YOU'RE IMPROVING. YOU HAD 14 LAST CONFESSION.
NICE GOING. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE OUT A LITTLE BETTER
WITH NUMBER 3 IN THE FUTURE.
***
Copyright 1973 by The Journal of Irreproducible Results. Reprinted with
permission.
